The relationship between grandparents and grandkids encompasses more than just freshly baked cookies and babysitting. Multiple studies suggest that grandparents play integral roles in raising well-rounded grandchildren. Therefore knowing how to be a good grandparent should come first! But before dwelling in the tips to be a cool grandpa and grandma to your grandkids, here are some important facts you should know:
- There are approximately 1 billion grandparents on earth.
- In the U.S., only 10% of all grandparents live with their grandchildren
That said, there are roughly millions who do not realize the impact of grandparents on child development. And how parenting grandkids along with their parents may also benefit your disposition.
We strive to provide you with answers on how to be a good grandparent and positively influence your grandkids' lives, better!
Is Raising Grandchildren Good for my Health?
Yes! The benefits of raising grandchildren do not only benefit them unidirectionally. But the impacts also reflect back to the grandparents. There are health benefits you can get when you switch up your role being grandparents as parents!
We rounded up a few to show you how advantageous it would be on your end if you take part in raising your grandkids!
Second Chance at Parenthood
Being a grandparent is like your second chance to relive as parents. An opportune time to correct the mistakes you might have committed the first time. You might have struggled raising their parents given your youth, naivete, and juggled responsibility. This time around, there are no other worries but how to be blissful at the moment with them. This helps in lowering the risk of high blood pressure and cardiovascular diseases!
Laughter is the best medicine
Raising your grandkids means that you can enjoy your precious bonding minus the pressures of life. Laughter is indeed the best medicine especially when we share the bond with grandkids. Transforming us from grumpy old coots to a young-at-heart cool grandpa and grandma. The lighthearted giggles and the joyous moment can aid in making you feel 30 years younger!
Peace of mind
Nothing beats knowing that when their parents aren’t around, you are there to give grandkids the nurturing they need. It gives you peace of mind that your grandchildrzen are in the right hands when you take them under your wing. This significantly reduces stress and you get to boosts family connections.
Fit as a fiddle
It is completely impossible to spend an afternoon with your grandkids without playtime. And expect the games they prefer to be filled with running and active exhilaration. It might be exhausting given the age gap, but it can serve as a great exercise to keep your body at peak health. We recommend joining in the fun and getting that young horse within you up and running!
The above are but a few from the long list of health benefits you can get if you become a cool grandpa and grandma, involving yourselves raising your grandkids!
Story Time: Kids Raised by their Cool Grandpa and Grandma
There are already numerous stories circulating online of grandparents raising grandkids on their own. We listed down some stories below to serve as inspiration for grandparents still on a crossroads whether they should involve with their grandkids’ lives or not.
Remember that the decision we make today can determine the outcome of tomorrow. If you have the opportunity to be there for your grandkids, do so. The impact of grandparents on child development is greatly realized and documented. And here are inspirational stories to show for it:
Alicia and Damien Beaumier
Grandma Janice Allen made the bold decision to take in her grandkids Alicia and Damien in the year 2005. It was after she realized that her daughter was getting in trouble for drug abuse. A tough one, but the right call to make, considering she had her retirement plans supposedly intact.
Allen described the experience seem like drowning, not knowing what to do and where to go especially since the kids were aged 10 and 8 at the time. She made a lot of sacrifices to make ends meet. From selling her retirement home to figuring out how to support and raise two children like a full-fledged parent. On top of that while making sure her daughter gets the help she needed to recover.
Her saving grace was when she was referred to Child Crisis Arizona. Here she found the healthcare, referrals, training, and counseling she needed all throughout the process. The liberating fact was knowing she was not alone and other grandparents are going through the exact same scenario.
She took her grandkids under her wing for four and a half years before the responsibility was re-assumed by their mother. Alicia said that her grandma stepping in was what pushed her mother to get her life together and for that, she is grateful to grandma Janice. Damien is now taking up Early Childhood Education at Arizona State University.
Life hasn’t been easy, but through the sacrifices of a hero grandma, everything fell into place.
“You know, you can lose a house or a savings account, but you can always rebuild that. I felt it was more important to take care of the grandchildren.” -Janice Allen
Zach Peter
All throughout Zach’s life, he had multiple parental figures to whom he owes the mentorship and support he got while growing up. It’s not easy growing up with grandparents, knowing that your biological parents are still around but are not taking up the mantle in assuming parenthood.
According to him, his parents weren’t ready for the responsibility, so the grandparents stepped in and picked up the pieces. It is safe to say that they were the ones that raised him to become who he is now.
There were obviously positives and negatives with being raised by grandparents and he realized these:
The pro was that it gave grandparents a fresh opportunity to become parents again. To fill the gaps that they failed at the first time around and be better parents than they were with Zach’s parents. But the con is that he never truly had a “mom” and “dad” although his parents are still around.
Nonetheless, he attributes his independence and maturity to being raised by a cool grandpa and grandma. They were filled with wisdom and advice which guided Zach, as well. Right now he has now made amends with his father and mother and focuses more on the love he receives than the ones he lacks.
“I'm lucky to have so much love in my life that it far outweighs any strife. I have lots of mentors (even though I don't always choose to listen to them) and lots of support. What more could any kid ask for?” -Zach Peter
Bobby Johnson and her REST advocacy
It is not easy knowing you will be grandparents especially if you know your child is suffering through problems and will need help along the way. Bobby’s daughter has a history of substance abuse with her husband incarcerated. Naturally, Bobby stepped in to take her granddaughters under her care.
According to her, she had to relearn everything there is to know about being a parent again. From making formula to snapping their onesies. But she then realized after that 44% of grandparents in her locality share the same burden as her. They are collectively referred to as “Kinship Care Givers”
This ultimately encouraged her to establish an agency called REST which means Resources to Empower, Support, and Transform kinship families. A group that aims to provide support and help to relatives who made the bold decision and stepped in for the children.
This way financial burden on the part of informal kinship caregivers like diapers, formula, and daycare can be alleviated.
According to Bobby, if she had the chance to go back, she would do it all over again.
More than the mentioned above are the unspoken stories of many cool grandpa and grandma in raising children. Not only did it impact the lives of the kids they took responsibility for, but it also changed their lives altogether. Realizing that the impact of grandparents on child development matters just as much as their very own parents.
Now that we have mentioned the subliminal health benefits and the inspiring stories from grandparents, how then can we be cool grandpa and grandma to our grandkids?
Check out the list below!
I Wanna be a Cool Grandpa/Grandma, What Should I Do?
Whether you are raising your grandkids as a solo grandparent or you are just looking for ways to supplement their parents’ parenting better, you can find stuff you can do from this list. We have collected 9 effective ways you can be cool grandparents to your grandkids:
Coach, don’t dictate
With age comes maturity and experience, and you are certainly filled with these when it comes to parenting. Remember that you went through being an amateur parent as well, so let your children walk through it on their own. If you observe rookie mistakes and problems with how your adult children are parenting your grandkids, discuss it privately, only if needed.
Be a coach that guides and helps parents become better versions of themselves. But do not dictate and correct them in front of children, this will only cause frictions. And frictions, well, scar and shows children the ugly sides of their parental figures.
Being a cool grandparent is not always showcased. What we do in secret also qualifies you as cool in your grandkids’ eyes.
No undermining; no overstepping
Grandparents always fall into the trap of spoiling their grandkids too much. And it might seem like you are making them love you more, but it can be treated as a form of manipulation. Do not let yourself become tools for them to have their way.
Love them, yes. But respect the authority of their parents and the rules they have set.
If mom and dad restrict certain activities, do not undermine them by allowing these things to your grandkids whenever they’re with you. And if you see parents setting limits top certain food like sweets, do not overstep the boundaries by giving them sweets like there’s no tomorrow.
Complement and supplement
Grandparents always mean well for the welfare of their grandkids. But you must steer away from being too intrusive. Be there to support their parents in raising the kids, not another competing parental figure.
If their parents cover the music lessons and playtime, maybe you can step in to read with them. Always cover the areas which their parents are limited of doing. This way, you all cover more ground in the development of your grandkid instead of competing with one another.
Join the silly parade
There is no such thing as silly if you are a grandparent. Your grandkids’ fun will always come above all else and that is completely normal. Play with them on the floor, tell them silly jokes and stories to keep them company.
When grandkids have a person they can get down with. Someone to join them in their jolly adventures, then that person is cool. All these things are not a waste of time, it is the moment where they learn things.
Be there for them, especially when their parents couldn’t. It would mean greatly.
Avoid the favoritism blunder
This is where problems arise. Treating one grandkid with love and care and leaving out their naughty, stubborn sibling is a classic faux pas to teach kids in being nice. But doing this doesn’t go well with kids. Neither does it make you a cool grandpa!
Every kid ages and matures, and if you only prefer them in their most angelic and innocent stages, kids will know this. Under the hood, this is what a fair-weather friend means in the world of grandparents. And it would be detrimental down the line if you continue this habit.
Love them all equally, no matter their ages, no matter their temperaments and current dispositions. That makes you a cool grandpa and an awesome grandma!
Be their trusty confidante
Your beliefs and principles might vary to some degree with your grandkids’ parents. And knowing that they have an outlet to share their personal stories with is important. Being a confidant means that you are trusted. And do not break this trust by vocalizing their problems to others.
Grandparents are filled with wisdom and you can share these things with grandkids if they ask for advice. A fresh and time-tested perspective might be what they need. The impact of grandparents on child development also lies with the teachings you can offer them.
Remember and never forget!
Whenever there are important milestones or special occasions, be there to remember your grandkids. Although the “remembering” part might not be the forte of grandparents, ask their parents to keep you posted on developments.
It is important to be a part of their lives even if you are far away from them. This serves as a constant reminds to them that they are special and you have their best interests at heart. If you can visit them after a significant milestone like learning how to walk, notify their parents and ask if you can pay a visit.
Skip the grand rivalry
It is completely normal to find yourself and your co-grandparents competing for the attention of the grandkids. But this practice should not be cultivated. It is counterproductive and relationship-denting at best.
Remember that you are in no way less cool if you spend less time with them. Neither are they better grandparents than you. All you have to do is shower them with love whenever you can. Keep your grandkids’ interests at the topmost echelon of your mind, not being better than the other pair of grandparents.
Want to be a cool grandpa and chill grandma? Be cool.
Don’t just buy stuff, do stuff
There is nothing more tempting than to see children jump in gladness when you buy them toys. We understand that completely. But it doesn’t serve much purpose if the experience ends with them receiving the toy.
If you want to buy them toys, make sure it is something which can impact their lives positively. And can serve as an avenue for you and your grandkids to bond. That is why science toys for kids are the best options for this matter.
Science toys like TheSTEMKids portable microscope allow them to have fun and learn important scientific concepts at the same time. All of which they can do under your supervision, to guide and teach them. With the virus still on the loose, couple the device with a microscope slides kit to continue learning even while indoors.
This way, they do not only play, but both of you can do stuff and create lasting memories together!
Don’ts as a Grandparent
Grandparents should know by now that they do not have a free pass all the time on how to deal with grandkids. Your grandchildren are under their parent’s authority and it is our responsibility as grandparents to abide by those. This will ensure a smooth-sailing relationship, not only with your grandkids but also with their parents:
Avoid the distancing drama
If you live a bit far from your grandkids, do not romanticize the distance by being overly dramatic. There are many ways for you to connect with them especially in the digital age. You may call them every week and conduct video chats with them. Or you can go old school and send them cards. The possibilities are endless!
On top of all those, you can always pay them a visit. Just let their parents know ahead of time so the schedules can be set.
Breaking the rules, for “love”
As mentioned above, there are certain rules set by their parents. Being grandparents does not qualify us to break those rules. Besides, if you do then you are certainly not doing it for love no matter how much you think you are.
The motivation might be to get in the good graces of your grandkids and win their favor. But this will only cause problems down the line.
Keeping rules vague and open-ended
You must be available to teach your grandkids why rules exist and why their parents set certain parameters. Following the rules is easier when children understand the rationale behind their existence. Give them explanations and answer their queries on these things. Do not keep them in the dark by saying “because your parents said so”.
Do not bring up generational differences
If there is one thing certain in life, it is that society will continue and never cease to progress. Cultures and norms years back may no longer fit with today’s standards. And as grandparents, it is important to adapt to the change and but keeping time-tested principles available for perspective. Do not bring the generational differences up as it may only cause frictions.
Spoiling them with toys and goodies
It is always tempting to give grandkids all the things that make them happy. But spoiling them is not the proper way on how to be a good grandparent. We have to realize that there is more to toys than meets the eye. Toys must provide life-long learnings and values and they must encourage family bonding. Science toys for kids provide this amenity.
One Last Cool Thing To Do
Playing and bonding will always be the closest way to your grandkids’ hearts. There is nothing like a cool grandpa and an awesome gram-gram that joins them in their youthful adventures.
If you have the chance to steer the future of children in the right direction, take advantage of that opportunity. Science toys for kids play both the role of bonding and learning, by motivating supervision of grand/parents to kids. These toys also encourage kids to be inclined with science at a young age.
An option you can choose from is TheSTEMKids Portable Microscope to introduce kids to a new realm, invisible to the naked eye. Explore microscopy along with your grandkids through this science gadget.
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